You don’t need to have it all figured out. You don’t need the perfect resume. You don’t need to wait until you feel “ready.” Because if you do, you might be waiting forever.
I wish someone had told me this earlier, not in a Pinterest quote, not in a motivational meme, but through a story that looked a little messy and real.
So here’s mine… and my daughter’s.
The Myth of Confidence
A few weeks ago, my daughter brought home her very first horse.
But not just any horse, a wild mustang.
The kind of horse that doesn’t come with a guarantee.
No ribbons.
No training.
No calm temperament bred in.
Just raw, untouched potential, and a whole lot of unknowns.
She had spent months trying to decide what kind of horse she wanted.
She had saved up every dollar, watched endless videos, scoured listings, and talked to every horse owner she could. And when the time came, she could’ve easily chosen a gentle, rideable horse. One with a saddle history. One that came with fewer questions and more confidence.
But her passion? It’s in the work.
Her dream? To one day run her own training facility.
Not the kind where you take good horses and make them great…
But the kind where you take the forgotten ones. The overlooked ones.
The horses no one sees potential in, and turn them into something extraordinary.
And as a parent, I only had one piece of advice:
If you want to train horses, get yourself a horse to train.
So she did.
She chose the harder path, not because it was trendy or dramatic, but because it lined up with who she is and what she wants. She picked the project horse. The horse that no one has ever ridden. The kind of horse that would stretch her, challenge her, test her.
Not to prove anything to the world.
But to prove to herself that she could.
And watching her take that brave first step, while full of questions, fears, and doubt—was the most powerful reminder I’ve had in a long time that confidence doesn’t come before the leap. It comes because of it.
And leading up to that day, I watched her wrestle with all the questions we’ve all asked ourselves:
- What if I can’t do it?
- What if this is too much for me?
- What if I mess up?
- What if I’m not enough?
If you’re an entrepreneur, I’m willing to bet you’ve asked yourself the same questions, whether it’s launching that offer, raising your prices, showing your face online, or just finally saying yes to the thing your heart has been whispering.
Spoiler Alert: None of Us Feel Ready
Here’s what I told her, and what I’ll tell you: I didn’t start with confidence. I started with a dream and a deep fear that maybe I wasn’t good enough. But I took the step anyway.
People often assume that confidence is something you either have or you don’t. Like it’s built into your DNA or not. But that’s not true for most of us. At all.
Confidence comes from doing.
It comes from figuring it out.
It comes from showing up, messing up, and realizing, hey, I didn’t break. I actually got better.
Confidence Is a Byproduct of Courage
The first time my daughter had to load her new mustang into a trailer, it took three hours. The first time she had to walk her into her stall, it took two hours to get her through the barn and to her stall.
That didn’t take confidence.
That took patience.
That took grit.
That took a quiet kind of courage that says, I don’t know how yet, but I will figure it out.
That’s the same kind of courage it takes to:
- Send your first invoice.
- Post your first video.
- Pitch yourself to a podcast.
- Hire your first team member.
- Launch the thing you’ve been dreaming about.
It’s never the loud, flashy, “I’ve got this!” kind of energy. It’s the quiet determination to take the next right step… even if your voice shakes and your hands are unsure.
The Truth About People Who “Look Confident”
I know how it looks from the outside.
You see people online, showing up polished, speaking with authority, making it look easy, and you think they must’ve just always had it. Confidence must be second nature for them.
But the truth?
Most of us started with absolutely no clue what we were doing. I’ve said yes to things I had zero business saying yes to on paper. But I trusted in one thing: that I would figure it out. And that became my superpower.
Not perfection.
Not talent.
Just a deep belief that I would keep showing up until it clicked.
Confidence Isn’t the Goal. Self-Trust Is
Over time, that belief builds a different kind of confidence, not the kind that says “I’ll never mess up,” but the kind that says, “Even if I do, I’ll be okay. I’ll try again. I’ll learn.”
That is the kind of confidence that will carry you through anything.
Because when you trust yourself, you stop needing permission. You stop waiting for the perfect moment. You stop needing every detail to be just right.
You just start.
And that’s where the magic lives.
One Brave Step at a Time
If you’re staring at something right now that feels too big, too hard, too far away, remember this: the confidence comes after you start.
You don’t need to leap the whole staircase. You just need to take the first step. The one that’s right in front of you.
The first post.
The first sale.
The first hard conversation.
The first imperfect, messy, beautiful attempt.
Each step will show you what you’re made of. Each step will grow your capacity. Each step will remind you: you can do hard things.
And over time? You’ll look back and barely recognize the person who once thought she couldn’t.
What My Daughter and This Mustang, Taught Me
Watching my daughter learn to work with her horse has reminded me of how we all grow.
She didn’t wait until she knew everything. She just loved this wild, unproven thing enough to try.
And with every failed attempt, every tiny win, every patient moment, she’s becoming the kind of person who knows she can do it.
And with every failed attempt, every tiny win, every patient moment, she’s becoming the kind of person who knows she can do it.
Not because someone handed her confidence…
But because she earned it through the doing.
Through the dust and the doubt.
Through the quiet “try again” moments no one else sees.
And isn’t that how it works for all of us?
We become confident not by getting it perfect the first time, but by showing up the next time.
We learn to trust ourselves not when the road is easy, but when we keep going even when it’s not.
We grow when we stop waiting to feel ready… and start moving anyway.
So if you’re standing on the edge of something right now, some new chapter, big leap, bold idea, and you’re wondering if you have what it takes…
Let me tell you what I told her:
You don’t have to feel ready.
You just have to be willing.
Willing to show up, to try, to fail, to learn, and to keep going.
Because the confidence?
It doesn’t come first.
The confidence comes after you start.
